Some Christians are distancing themselves from the label "Christian"
According to
an article in Newsweek, some Christians are now referring to themselves as "followers of Jesus" because that phrase doesn't carry the apparent baggage that "Christians" does.
You can wear it abroad, in Islamic countries, or at home with your Jewish or Buddhist friends, without causing offense. Second, it distances the bearer from the culture wars that have made American politics so divisive.
I'm thinking there's a wee bit of paranoia there.
Just Let Go
By Tal Ben Shahar,
Author of The Pursuit of Perfect: to Stop Chasing and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life
"The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men"
-George Eliot
We are constantly bombarded with perfection. Adonis on the cover of Men'sHealth and Helen on the cover of Vogue; women and men getting together on the larger-than-life screen, resolving conflicts in two hours or less, delivering perfect lines, making perfect love. Parents and teachers exalt the flawless 'A'; college admission officers expect resumes without end. We've all heard our self-help Gurus tell us that there is no limit to our potential, that what we can believe we can achieve, that where there's a will there's a way. We've been told that we can find bliss if only we follow the road not taken, or the road taken by our serene spiritual leader -- the one with the best smile on the cover of the New York Times best seller.
The yearning for perfection has its roots in the Garden of Eden, having descended there from Heaven; it blossomed throughout Western Philosophy, first in the shape of Plato's forms, and then in the form of Weber's ideal types. "When Plato wrote that everything on earth has its ideal version in heaven," says Diane Ackerman, "many took what he said literally. But for me the importance of Plato's ideal forms lies not in their truth but in our desire for the flawless." The desire for the flawless condemns us to perpetual displeasure with who we are: "Even the most comely of us feel like eternally ugly ducklings who yearn to be transformed into swans."
Who among us has not, at times, allowed an awareness of our shortcomings to overshadow our triumphs and achievements? Is the flesh and blood behind the Adonic picture wholly satisfied with his relationships, or his investments, and does he not feel threatened by next month's cover boy? Is the non-digitally-enhanced Helen totally happy with her skin or SAT scores, and is she indifferent to the ticking of the clock and the omnipresent force of gravity?
The antidote to perfectionism is acceptance. When we do not accept our flaws, we focus on them constantly -- we magnify them and deny ourselves the silent satisfaction of serenity. Imagine spending a year in school -- reading and writing and learning -- without concern for the report card at the end of the ride. Or being in a relationship without the need to mask imperfections. Or getting up in the morning and embracing the man, or woman, in the mirror.
Acceptance, however, is not the panacea for perfectionism, and expecting it to work miracles will only lead to further unhappiness. In our search for serenity through acceptance, we inevitably experience much turmoil. Swayed by promises of heaven on earth, lured by sirens in the odyssey toward self acceptance, we look for perfect tranquility -- and when we do not find it, we feel frustrated, disillusioned. And it is, indeed, an illusion that we can be perfectly accepting and hence perfectly serene. For can anyone living sustain the eternal tranquility of a Mona Lisa?
There is no end point in the journey toward tranquility, no final destination where we have completely accepted ourselves. The place of eternal bliss and serenity, as far as I can tell, exists only in dreams and magazines -- not in the valley of green pastures nor on a mountain top above the clouds. So rather than following Sisyphus' footsteps, why not just drop the burden, let go of the myth of perfection? Why not be a little bit easier on ourselves and accept that to experience fear, jealousy, anger, and, at times, to be unaccepting of ourselves, is simply, and perfectly, human.
©2009 Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D, author of The Pursuit of Perfect: to Stop Chasing and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life
Author Bio
Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D., author of
The Pursuit of Perfect: to Stop Chasing and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life, is the New York Times bestselling author of Happier. He taught one of the most popular courses in Harvard's history, and he currently consults and lectures around the world to multinational organizations, the general public, and at-risk populations. He obtained his Ph.D. in organizations behavior and his B.A. in philosophy and psychology from Harvard.
For more information, please visit www.talbenshahar.com
Saying something
Before I get to the point of this post, let me say that I'm the sort of person who on occasion speaks to a manager of a business to pass along my thoughts about it. Most frequently, that might be the manager of a restaurant, for example. I've told managers that the service I got from a waitperson was really great, that the food was really good, or that there was a little slippery spot on the floor (s)he might want to know about. My theory is that the more a manager knows about a patron's feelings, the better the establishment will be. I have no idea if it's a valid theory or not.
I've been going to a music venue for the last several months. The venue is what they call acoustic music; I would call it folk (my experience starts in the 60s). Most often it's acoustic guitar, but sometimes electric piano.
I've missed the last few performances for reasons beyond my control, and wrote to the coordinator explaining why. I also offered the following observations:
Here's one thing I've wanted to mention to you for a while about the shows ... please take it for what it's worth. Many of the people who perform have a couple of attributes that I think could be improved.
First, they don't seem to have a sense of what entertainment is. A good entertainer, for example, has a strong sense of how to segue from one song to another with introductions, general commentary, etc. Many good entertainers, but not all, have a good sense of humor and use it liberally. I'd say that the majority of the performers at the series fumble their way from one song to another without any forethought.
Second: many of the performers are not good at enunciating their lyrics clearly. I don't know about anyone else, but I get bored really quickly when I have to struggle to understand what's being sung. Do others feel this way?
I honestly mention these things for 2 reasons. One, if they're valid criticisms, then getting performers to work on them would make them better - and hopefully more successful - performers. Two, I'd enjoy the performances more :)
Personally, I thought that was legitimate criticism of a number of the performers, but not all. My feeling is that performers who are working for free (except for tips and CD sales) might be interested in one person's opinion of general things they might look at in their own styles which, of course, they could take or leave.
Well, it didn't go over so well. Apparently no one who has ever attended these shows has verbalized a similar opinion, and my impression is that the coordinator felt that, therefore, no one ever had the same opinion. What I heard back was how wonderfully talented all of the performers were.
So I wonder: should I have just kept my mouth shut because there was the risk of offending someone? I believe in constructive criticism. Maybe what I said wasn't construed as constructive?
Badmouthing the stimulus bill
Back in the middle of February, Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) took some time out his busy schedule to
walk down the main street of the business district of the Park Circle area of North Charleston, SC badmouthing the stimulus bill.
It got me to wondering: assuming that someone as busy as Senator Graham does nothing without a specific purpose, what was the purpose of this trash-talk walk? To assure his constituents that the end is near? To convince any of them that voted for Obama that they made a mistake? (Charleston County, of which North Charleston is a part, was one the only of the 46 counties in SC to go for Obama).
It saddens me that after Obama won a clear victory, Republicans feel the need to do everything in their power to undermine everything he's trying to do. And it amazes me that "cut taxes" and "don't spend any money" are their solutions to every single problem the country has.
For the first time in a long time, we have a president who has bold visions both to get us out of this financial morass and to make this a better country by improving health care, energy, education, infrastructure and more. And all the Republicans in Congress can do is whine about how nothing is going to work. Some contribution that is.
Practicing your investment skills
I ran into an interesting site called
UpDown.com where you can practice your investment skills. They give you a virtual $1 million account and the people who beat the Standard and Poors 500 Index every month win money.
Hey, you can't do much worse than than experienced investment bankers have been doing!
